There seems to be a lot of mystery around how, or if, psychotherapy works. After all, I do not hook you up to a machine. I do not give any shots. I do not poke you. I do not give any pills or make you take any bad tasting medicine. We just talk. Just how does simply talking make you feel better?

First, let me say it does work. Studies conducted in the latter part of the last century found people do get better with the talking cure. The methods we use to treat people have a body of research evidence concluding people get better by talking with a therapist.

A variety of factors go into the process of how people feel better talking with a psychotherapist. Let us go through them.

Talking/Listening – Have you ever found it is good to get things off your chest talking with a friend or family member? During psychotherapy session your job is to talk and mine is to listen. What kinds of things should you talk about you might ask. Basically you can talk about anything, but eventually we should come around to talking about you and your life. Common topics for discussion include; how you are feeling today, events in your life, your relationships, work, the past, your hopes and dreams, and things in your life that are unfinished. Simply expressing how you feel and having me listen will leave you feeling better. The technical term for this is catharsis. It is the relief we feel when we release our emotions. This is the most basic benefit one gets from psychotherapy.

Clarification/Insight – When people come to sessions they often feel confused about how they feel, why they feel the way they do, and what they are going to do about something troubling them. While you are talking about your life I am busy trying to understand what it is like to be you. To help me understand I will ask questions, restate how you are feeling, and make interpretations about why you feel the way you do. This gives me a better understanding of what you are feeling and what it is like to be you. The funny thing is, that while you are trying to make sense of yourself to me, you come to understand yourself better too. Simply understanding what you are feeling and why you feel it provides relief.

Advice/Guidance – I happen to be an expert in understanding people and human relationships. Many times patients simply want suggestions about what to do about a problem. It could be problem at work, a problem with a relationship, or a problem dealing with a parent or child. Sometimes I can give suggestions on how to solve a specific problem. You simply need information about what to do about a problem.

Problem Solving – Much of what we talk about in sessions has to do with a distressing problem of everyday life. Many times I do not have a ready answer for a problem. However, two heads are better than one when trying to solve a problem. I offer a different, outside perspective to a problem and its solution. We brainstorm ideas of what to do about the problem. By the session’s end you will have a plan of how to address the problem. Something I always like to tell my patients. You do not have to solve your problems to feel better. You only need a good plan to deal with them. Having a plan you feel confident might work will make you feel better right here and now.

Skill Building – For me, this is the most important part of the work I do. My job is to teach you life skills that enable you to feel and function better in your everyday life. This includes teaching you how to manage intense emotions like anxiety, depression, and anger. It includes how to make your important relationships run more smoothly. It includes helping an alcoholic or drug addict stay sober.

My goal whenever I see patients in psychotherapy session is to have them leave after a session feeling better than when they came in. Of course, psychotherapy should be more than a temporary respite from our troubles. Ideally, you will generally feel better after repeated sessions.